One fact that no one can resist is that we all had that one personal diary where we wrote about our “dream boyfriend or girlfriend.” But the question is how many of us have found “THE PERFECT”? When I was a teenager, I made a list of qualities that I wanted in my future husband(lol, that paper is lying in the trash), but I regret it because I always thought that needs and desires are the same things. Are the needs and wants in the relationship the same thing?
Absolutely, NO. How we project our future partner is what we WANT, and how our partner should be is NEED. Significantly, they both are very different. Psychologists define Need as something necessary for our survival. However, wants are our desires that can be compromised.
But the most essential thing in a relationship is to feel loved and valued. The connection must have 100-100 efforts for both sides. Now, let us compare both aspects.
Knowing the needs and wants in a relationship is important to build trust and security between the partners.
WANTS IN A REALTIONSHIP
1. INCOME
No matter how much we disagree that we are not materialistic, we are(including me). We always look for a range of income that we want in our future partner.
If that range exceeds, lucky me, and if it decreases, no problem, I’ll find another one. But how does money-making tell about the qualities of the person? Trust me, an intelligent guy is always better than a rich and foolish guy!
2. AVAILABLE 24/7
I am sure every girl wants this: ATTENTION! We tend to look for a partner that is always present for us, physically (in-person) or on the phone, but is that important? That person should be present for you in your time of need. However, after some time, this becomes frustrating. But still, it can be one of your priorities for choosing our partner.
3. HEIGHT
Height is another factor in choosing our partners. Who wants short guys, huh? Most of the credit has to be given to stereotypes like the flu, but what does height have to do with his qualities?
My best friend’s boyfriend is short, but you will believe that he is the perfect man for her. Unfortunately, height is just another want, and girl, you can survive with a short man also if he makes you feel loved.
4. HOT PASSIONATE SEX
A big thanks to movies for taking out expectations regarding intimacy to another level. Every girl wants her man to be wild in bed, which is fair enough, but do you want it even after 20 years or when you are old?
Sex is a passion when you are young, but after some time, when you are at your later stages when you are energy deprived; you will need a person who feels at home and is not horny all the time.
5. COMMON INTERESTS
We all want a person with whom we can share our bucket list and have common interests so that we won’t fight over a movie night(lol, which I always do) but Perfections or imperfections only lie in your perception.
Having a common interest can help match your energy or vibe together but will prevent you from growing or prospering.
6. GOOD DATING PROFILES
Okay, tell me what you do while scrolling on Tinder or Bumble; it looks for the ‘perfect’ profile of your ideal one, right? Moreover, this is not the only thing we are looking for; there is one more thing (any guesses??). Yeah, it’s the grammar.
Unconsciously or unconsciously, we all do this thing. Having good grammar does not tell whether the person is intelligent or not.
7. CERTAIN EDUCATION:
This is very common, and I always come across this when my friends say, I want to be with someone who has at least graduated. I agree that you want to be with someone who has the same education and culture, fair enough.
But does education tell us all about a person’s intelligence? Nowadays, everything can be found with just a click. What matters is what’s in the person’s heart,
8. SAME FOOD CHOICES
I have gone like crazy hearing this. I only want to date a vegan because I am a vegan. Food is food, girl, and trust you can still have a better and more romantic date even if the foods on your plates are different.
It is just a matter of choice and don’t worry, You don’t have to fight while buying the food because you can compromise if you love each other.
9. SHARED WORK OR UNIVERSITY
Surprisingly, This is the most common thing I have listened to from my friends. My partner and I should have shared work or university because this will help us to know each other better.
But doesn’t it only exist in fantasies; a girl and a boy run into each other, their books or papers fall, and they are in love at another moment? But expecting this is crap(I am so sorry to break this to you!).
10. SPECIFIC PHOTO
I want this guy because the photo made me fall in love. Oh, his body Or his dressing style is Just like, wow, I want to date him. But girl, what about his manners, way of talking, and moral values? Love at first is just infatuation, not real love. Moreover, it is always said that you should never judge a book by its cover.
NEEDS IN A REALTIONSHIP
1. LISTENER
Trust me, having a partner who listens to your talks is everything you want. They will better understand you, and this will strengthen your relationship. It also demonstrates love, caring, affection, and respect towards the other person.
Listening is more than just hearing! It is far better than just having daily discussions and small talk. The need to be heard and listened to is just fulfilled by attending by heart (boys, listen to your girls quietly;))
2. GOAL ORIENTED
I always wanted my partner to be career-orientated because I want to grow in love, not fall in love! It will also help them to stay focused in their life and also in their relationship. Whenever you two guys grow in love, this will deepen your love for each other. Moreover, Your partner should be goal-oriented because love doesn’t pay the bills.
3. HOME
Who doesn’t want a person who feels at home? Imagine having a person with whom you can talk for hours without getting bored, without any filters, and who listens to you without any judgments, right? Then go and find one. But make sure the person doesn’t fake it; they mean it and make sure you have this checklist of needs and wants in a relationship.
4. COMMITMENT
I am afraid to say this, but this is the most underrated want. Everyone wants to find someone in this hookup culture, but the actual taste lies in finding someone imperfect and sticking to them till your last breath.
Commitment is essential in a relationship as it enhances your love by increasing trust, accountability, and love for each other.
5. EMOTIONAL STABILITY
Emotional connection is the most profound connection you can ever make when you are in love. Emotional support is about providing love, support, reassurance, acceptance, and encouragement in a relationship.
An emotionally stable person is essential in a relationship, like cheese in a cheeseburger, because this person will never disappoint you. Your partner will support you emotionally and heal the wounds they haven’t created!
6. GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR
Who doesn’t want a person full of laughter, happiness, and joy? (I will catch that person right away). A good sense of humor, especially in men, should be the enormous GREEN flag while choosing a partner, as this person will fill your life with Humor even in the darkest times.
Statistically, a Good sense of humor keeps the relationship calmer, peaceful, and fun!
7. EASY GOING PERSONALITY
When you and your partner are easygoing, you don’t have to worry about small and trivial arguments, but this doesn’t mean that only the other person is always compromising. This will ensure fewer arguments, and you can be happy and fight less. Furthermore, better understanding between the two.
8. SPENDS QUALITY TIME
The need to spend quality time together cannot be ignored. Imagine you come home after a long and tiring day, and someone is listening to you and ensuring you are okay! Treating you right on your periods, Playing with you, cooking for you, and spending quality time with you is the man you should not miss!
9. SAME LONG-TERM GOALS
Working on the same long-term goals will help each other to grow and manifest things together. Having the same goals will help us stay focused and accountable to each other even if something goes out of the lane. This will connect you both more deeply; luckily, you can be rich together!
10. BASIC NEEDS
Basic needs and necessities still need to be recognized in today’s Gen Z. Is it too much to ask for loyalty, respect, and trust (unfortunately, yes)? Basic needs make the foundation of a relationship much more substantial, longer, and healthier.
Moreover, Your Life can be a living heaven with the right one. Knowing the needs and wants in a relationship helps us to find that right one.
Knowing Needs and Wants in a relationship is very important, so you must respect people whose priorities are wants and not needs. You can miss the opportunity for the
real ones. So open your eyes and make everything right and Unfortunately, you know the needs and wants in a relationship now!
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